Thanksgiving Parenting Time in NY: Travel, Make-Up Days, and School Breaks

Divorced parents in New York face unique challenges when it comes to dividing parenting time in Thanksgiving. Whether it’s negotiating travel plans, determining who gets to spend the holiday with the children, or managing make-up days and school breaks, understanding the rules and how to approach these matters will ensure a smoother holiday for everyone involved. Thanksgiving, as one of the most important holidays of the year, can be a difficult time for co-parents, especially if there’s disagreement about who gets to spend time with the kids. Knowing your rights, what the law says, and how to handle disagreements in a respectful way is crucial for creating a positive holiday experience.

Understanding Parenting Time in New York for Thanksgiving

In New York, custody and parenting time arrangements are legally binding and typically outlined during divorce proceedings. These arrangements cover a variety of issues, including how holidays will be split. Thanksgiving can be a particularly contentious time for families. Here’s a breakdown of what to keep in mind:

• Alternating Holidays: It is common for parents to alternate holidays, including Thanksgiving. If you have agreed to alternate the holiday, one parent may have the children for Thanksgiving this year, while the other parent gets the holiday the following year. If no formal agreement was made, it’s essential to work out a fair arrangement that prioritizes the children’s needs. 
• Split Holidays: In some cases, both parents may want to spend time with their children on Thanksgiving Day. If this is the case, a split of the day is a reasonable solution. This might mean one parent spends the afternoon with the children and the other parent has the evening. 
• Special Considerations for Family Traditions: For many families, Thanksgiving traditions are a key part of the holiday. If either parent has a long-standing tradition, the other parent should try to accommodate this in their arrangements. Discussing these traditions ahead of time and finding a way to include both families can help ease any tensions that may arise.

The Role of Travel in Thanksgiving Parenting Time

Thanksgiving often involves travel, whether it’s a visit to extended family or a vacation. Planning travel arrangements is an important part of Thanksgiving parenting time. Below are some critical considerations when travel is part of the equation:

• Advanced Notice of Travel Plans: If one parent plans to travel with the children during Thanksgiving, the other parent must be notified in advance. New York law requires that reasonable notice is provided, typically 30 days before the travel date. This allows the other parent enough time to adjust their parenting schedule or to request a make-up day if necessary. 
• Travel with Children Across State Lines: In situations where one parent wishes to take the children out of state, this must typically be agreed upon in advance by both parents. If one parent objects to the travel, the issue can be brought before a family court, which will consider the best interests of the child. 
• Communication is Key: Parents should discuss and agree on all aspects of travel logistics. This includes the exact dates of travel, who will be responsible for transportation, and what time the children will be picked up and dropped off. Clear and early communication about these details can prevent confusion and conflict later on. 

Make-Up Days: What Happens If Parenting Time Is Missed?

Sometimes, one parent may miss their scheduled Thanksgiving time due to travel conflicts, emergencies, or other unforeseen circumstances. In these cases, make-up days are often necessary to ensure that both parents have a fair opportunity to spend time with the children.

• Negotiated Make-Up Days: If a parent misses their time during Thanksgiving, they may be entitled to a make-up day. This can be arranged by mutual agreement between the parents. For example, if a parent misses Thanksgiving dinner due to travel delays, the other parent may agree to allow them a weekend in exchange. 
• Court-Ordered Make-Up Days: If the parents cannot agree on when to make up the missed time, a judge may intervene. Depending on the custody agreement and the specific situation, the court can issue an order for make-up time. It is always best to try to work out these details amicably before resorting to court intervention.

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Managing School Breaks and Extended Time with Children

Thanksgiving is part of a larger school break, with many children in New York having a few days off from school. This extended time off can be a perfect opportunity for both parents to spend quality time with their children. However, it can also complicate matters when parents need to figure out how to divide that time fairly.

• Extended Parenting Time: The Thanksgiving holiday is often part of a longer school break. This extended period can be divided in various ways. In some cases, one parent may have the children for the entire break, while the other parent gets a different holiday or a portion of the vacation time. 
• School Schedule Considerations: When making arrangements, it is important to take into account the children’s school schedule. If one parent gets the children for Thanksgiving but the other parent has more time off due to school breaks, consider giving the parent with less time the opportunity to spend additional days with the children. 
• Consistent Schedules: Even during breaks, maintaining a consistent routine is vital for children. This includes ensuring that regular check-ins with the non-custodial parent happen, whether through phone calls, video chats, or even a short visit. Consistency helps reduce confusion for children who may be feeling the impact of the changes in their routine. 

Communication: The Cornerstone of Co-Parenting During the Holidays

The key to successful co-parenting, especially around Thanksgiving, is communication. Thanksgiving is one of the busiest travel times of the year, and disputes about parenting time can be more common during this period. Here’s how you can ensure better communication and smoother holiday transitions:

• Clear, Open Conversations: Talk to your ex-spouse early about holiday plans. Establish when and where the children will be with each parent, and agree on drop-off and pick-up times well in advance. Being proactive helps avoid misunderstandings and ensures that both parents can plan accordingly. 
• Flexibility and Cooperation: While it’s essential to stick to the parenting agreement, showing flexibility can help reduce tension. If one parent has a scheduling conflict, offering a fair compromise is a helpful way to prevent conflict. A cooperative approach will ensure a better outcome for the children, who will benefit from having both parents involved in their holiday celebrations. 

What to Do If Disagreements Arise

Sometimes, despite the best efforts, disagreements may arise over Thanksgiving parenting time. If this happens, it’s important to approach the situation calmly and legally. If the issue cannot be resolved privately, it may be necessary to involve a mediator or, in extreme cases, the court.

• Mediation: Mediation is often a preferred method for resolving disputes between co-parents. A mediator can help both parents reach a fair and amicable agreement on holiday parenting time, including Thanksgiving. 
• Family Court: If mediation fails, the matter may need to be brought before a family court. The court will make decisions based on the child’s best interests, including the importance of maintaining relationships with both parents during holidays. 

Legal Assistance for Thanksgiving Parenting Time

Navigating Thanksgiving parenting time can be stressful, especially when conflicts arise. If you need help understanding your rights, creating a fair parenting schedule, or resolving disputes, the attorneys at Cole, Sorrentino, Hurley, Hewner & Gambino, P.C. can assist. We specialize in family law and are committed to ensuring that your parenting time agreements are fair, clear, and legally sound.

To learn more about this subject click here: Tips for Co-Parenting with a Difficult Ex-Spouse