In some states, a couple can live together long enough that they’re seen as married in the eyes of the law. This is often called common law marriage. But in New York, it doesn’t work that way. If you live together, share bills, or even raise children as a couple, it doesn’t mean you’re married under state law. New York does not create common law marriages, no matter how long you’ve been together.
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That said, if you had a common law marriage from another state where it is legal, New York may still recognize that marriage. This can get tricky fast, especially when the relationship ends. If one person believes they’re entitled to marital rights like property, spousal support, or inheritance, the court will ask where the marriage was made and if that state allowed common law marriages.
How Living Together Impacts Legal Rights
Even without a marriage license, long-term partners often share their lives as if they were married. They may buy homes together, open joint bank accounts, or raise children. But under New York law, none of this means they get the legal protections of marriage. So when the relationship ends, dividing up what was once shared can be messy.
If you never married but acted like you did, New York courts won’t treat you like a married couple. This means there’s no automatic right to divide property, no legal spousal support, and no path to a divorce. It becomes a regular civil matter — more like breaking up a business than ending a marriage.
The Risks of Assuming Marriage Rights Without a License
Many people think living together for seven years or more makes a couple legally married. This is false in New York. If you believe you were in a common law marriage and later want to claim spousal support or property, you’ll be asked to prove that a valid marriage happened in another state that allows it. Without that, you may walk away with nothing.
When one partner earns more or owns more, the other can be left in a tough spot. They might have spent years raising children or supporting the household but have no legal claim to the home or assets. Even if the relationship was like a marriage in every other way, the court won’t treat it as such unless it was a legal marriage from a state that allows it.
What Happens to Children in These Relationships
Children born to parents who aren’t married still have legal rights. New York law ensures both parents are responsible, married or not. So while you may not have the same rights as a spouse, you do have responsibilities and rights as a parent. Custody, visitation, and child support can all be decided by the court, just like in any other split.
This is often the one area where not being married doesn’t change much. The court looks at what’s best for the child, not the parents’ marital status. But again, property and spousal rights are off the table unless a valid marriage existed somewhere that recognizes common law marriage.
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Ending a Relationship Without Divorce
If you were never legally married, you can’t get divorced. That may sound simple, but it often causes real problems. You might need to go to civil court to fight over who owns the home, the bank accounts, or even the dog. You won’t have the rules of divorce to guide you, and the court won’t treat you like a couple ending a legal marriage.
Some people try to prove they had a common law marriage in another state just so they can get access to divorce court. If the court accepts that argument, it may allow a divorce and divide property the way it would in any other case. But that only works if the relationship meets the requirements of common law marriage in the state where it started.
Protecting Yourself While Living Together
If you plan to live with someone for the long haul without getting married, it’s smart to put some things in writing. A cohabitation agreement can spell out who owns what and what happens if you break up. You can decide in advance how to handle the house, the bills, or anything else that might cause a fight later.
This isn’t just for wealthy couples. Anyone sharing a home, children, or finances with someone else should have some form of agreement. Otherwise, the law won’t help much if things go wrong. Without legal marriage, your only protection is what you can prove or what you’ve put in writing.
Planning Ahead Can Avoid Big Problems Later
Too often, people think they’re protected because they lived together for years. But when the relationship ends, they find they have no claim to support or property. This can lead to long legal fights and unfair outcomes. The best way to avoid this is by understanding the law before things fall apart.
Talk openly with your partner. Decide what you want the future to look like, and put that in writing. If you want the full legal rights of marriage, get married. If you don’t, then protect yourself in other ways. Don’t wait until the end of a relationship to find out where you stand.
Why Timing and Documentation Matter So Much
When it comes to claiming common law marriage from another state, timing is everything. Courts will look at where you lived, how long you were there, and whether that state would recognize your relationship as a marriage. Just saying you were “like a married couple” isn’t enough. You need proof. That can include tax filings, insurance policies, joint bank accounts, or shared ownership of a home — all from the time you lived in the state that allows common law marriage.
Even then, it’s not a sure thing. Each state has its own rules. Some require clear agreement between both partners to be married. Others might ask if you introduced yourselves publicly as husband and wife. These are high bars to meet. If the court finds there was no valid marriage under that state’s law, then New York won’t treat it as one either.
When It’s Time to Talk to a Lawyer
You may not know if your relationship counts as a common law marriage in another state. You may be facing a breakup and wondering what you can ask for. Or you might be planning to move in with someone and want to know how to protect yourself. This is where clear legal advice matters.
At Cole, Sorrentino, Hurley, Hewner & Gambino, P.C., we help people understand their rights and take smart steps forward. Whether you’re dealing with the end of a long relationship or planning for a future together, we can help you avoid costly mistakes. Call us today. You don’t have to figure it all out alone.